THE WORST SEQUEL EVER WRITTEN... THAT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY OSCAR

All I Want for Christmas is My Serena
By Serene

For those of you that remember famous Mary Sue, Serene Chiba aka Sailor Sun from the infamous fic "Where Oh Where Has My Serena Gone?" we present a brand new adventure! This time, it's five years after the events of the previous fic and we have an older, wiser, and pluckier Serene. Serene fills us in on the events that we've all missed.

We were out Shopping at the mall, Holly and Me. We had become best friends recently. We did this every year, doing owr Christmas Shopping. I am now 14 years old. Holly is 15. The Scouts are all grown up now. Michelle and Erica have tied the not finaly. Mina is still single. Ken has finaly gotten his curage up and asked Lita out. Amy and Greage get closer every day. Rei and Chad won't admit it but I think they are falling for each other. Holly is going out with a guy named Michal. I'm still Single. I'm still single. I've got the boys linning up by the dozens, but none of them interest me. I'm happy going out on a date or two and then moving on to the next. None of them seem to mind. They all know I'm just trying to decide which one is right for me. I'm not really trying to decide. I'm just enjoying the attention. Darien refuses to see anyone, datewise. He is still staying loyal to Serena. I guess he is happy enough.

I guess he's happy enough, too. After all, he's been mourning his dead girlfriend for five years now. Some people just never learn to heal. But, goodness gracious! Serene IS the little flirt, isn't she?

Oh, and I'm not sure, but I *think* that Holly = Hotaru. And I only get this feeling because Holly actually HEALS poor Serene's headache a few paragraphs later. Damn the urge to give random dub names to the Outers! Damn it to HELL! Besides, I would've called her "Helen."

Pretty soon, we're introduced to our newest enemy and we learn what it is that he wants.

"I am lord Aries of the Antiverse. Now tell me where that brat Serene is and I'll be on my way."

"Why do you want Serene?" saturn asked.

"Because I owe her. She destroyes me last Generals."

Ahoy me mateys! Arrr!

However, Sailor Sun comes in to save the day! Only in chapter 2 do we discover that Serene doesn’t know that she IS Sailor Sun. (And she won't figure it out until at late in chapter three. Guess what? She's ANOTHER talisman holder!) Apparently the Tuxedo Mask habit of not knowing when you henshin and having odd dreams of women crying for help runs in the family. It is during one of these dreams when she is given a task.

"You must find the Imperium Silver Crystal. On Christmas Eve a portal will apper under crystal Tokyo. Pass through the portal with the Items on the list I will give you. There I also a map and instructions with it. Follow them exactly. The portal will appear at 11:00 pm Christmas Eve. Be there to jump in with everything that is on the list. If it isn't done now then I don't know when it can be done again."

Too bad none of the items are things that can be found in your local Piggly Wiggly.

From then on we get to watch in amazement as the amazing Serene – Mary Sue Extraordinaire – gathers these items, finds a portal to the moon and manages to single-handedly resurrect the five-years dead Serena!

Oh, yes. And how can I forget? This fic also has the pleasure of introducing the world to my new, favorite senshi attack: Fire Sole. Owie! Hot foot! Boy, won't the "antiscum" hate that one!

More fun quotes:

"She took my head in her hands. I fealt power remove the pain from My head."

"'You will never have Earth you peace of scum.' Tuxedo Mask told it."

"Holly just haaaad to meantion Sailor Sun again."

"I managed to cone a picture of Serena from Darien."

"A Black hole like what the negaverse appeared."

"At least this one isn't named Sailor Earth... but Sailor Sun is close enough! I'm really getting sick of all of these unoriginal senshi... if I were going to be an avatar senshi I'd be something cool like Ultimate Sailor Bitch Goddess and I wouldn't waste time trying to befriend any of the senshi. They'd all serve as my mindless slaves because it's my fic ... At least that seems logical to me..." - Bejiin after discovering that this was an avatarfic.

" It was so boring that it caused me to develop narcolepsy." - Jaina after reading this fic.

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